He can't heal what you don't reveal!

Thoughts of death and suicide; excessive crying and anxiety; feelings of guilt and worthlessness; susceptibility and hopelessness. Yet, I still heard constantly, “You’re a strong Black woman. You can handle anything. Pray about it and everything will be fine.”

While that is true, as I fought through my adversities I still felt trapped in a cage of denial and pain, literally coping with misery year after year.

I’m grateful that I finally arrived at this place of knowing that I deserve better. I finally care more about myself than I do about what others think of me. And that is when I came to the realization that there is no shame in seeking therapy.

It turns out that seeking help took more strength than the “strength” required to suffer alone. I deserve a life made up of real smiles, not ones practiced with fake laughter and accompanied by insomnia and tears. The real shame is in not getting the guidance you need to live the life you deserve to live.

There are several self-defeating habits that can and will hold you back if you allow them to, and here are ten that kept me from being the best and highest version of myself:

1. Fear of Discomfort: I had to push through the pain to get to the other side and improve my well-being. Once I let go of the urge to return to the familiar, the discomfort became beneficial.

2. Past Failures: O-M-G! Rumination is very real. The constant replay of conversations in my head and dwelling on injustices and injuries did nothing but weigh me down!

3. Breaking Habits: Once I identified my triggers, now I can easily take precaution with any and all situations.

4. False Beliefs: Self-limiting is huge, I had to replace a lot of my negative thoughts with empowering ones.

5. Negative Friends: I truly had to understand that sometimes friendships are formed from negative roots, and it’s natural for them to come and go!

6. Always on the Go: I’ve heard there’s an art to being still, and sometimes you must let go of circumstances beyond your control. Just be still and pray for guidance.

7. Should’ve-Could’ve-Would’ve’s: I replaced them with why haven’t I, what’s stopping me, and why am I not doing what I want!

8. Greed: I used to feel like I NEEDED money, love, and for my life to be perfect in order to survive. Even the Bible reads a double-minded person is unstable in all his ways. Now I feed my Faith!

9. Complacency: I had a repetitive cycle for settling and reality hit, I truly had to disconnect and reset some personal goals.

10. Mental Health: I masked my feelings and painted a smile on face hoping my problems would fade away. I embrace my mess now, hoping to help someone else who is silently struggling.

There are countless stigmas that surround depression in the Black community and particularly Black women. I’d like to  encourage the mental wellness of all my fellow Black women and girls. In my most recent session I was told to embrace the work I’ve put forth and this is my progress!

I've got VICTORY!

Can’t no devil in hell stop me!

I always win!

#RecklessLoveOfGod

#Disconnected

“When you are disconnected from the IDEAS of others, you can enjoy being you.”

-Pastor Antonio Matthews Denver, Co.